


my god, you tempt my anxious mind

by polaris18



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, altean!lance, lance is allura's little brother, prince!lance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-02 21:00:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12734220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polaris18/pseuds/polaris18
Summary: Lance and Lotor were just two princes who fell in love despite their differences. 10,000 years later, they find themselves on opposing sides of a war inherited from their fathers.





	1. covered in ivy green

A knock appeared at the door.

“Prince Lance, your father has requested your presence in the Royal Hall.”

“Shit,” Lance muttered under his breath, a bit louder than he intended. If didn’t reply and he pretended he wasn’t in his room, would the guard come barging in? _Probably,_ he thought, rolling his eyes.

There was only one option, then. Oh, what Lance wouldn’t do to avoid his princely duties. Allura was the one who would be Queen someday. Why was Lance expected to attend all those boring meetings with foreign diplomats?

Lance snuck quietly over to a closet he never used and found himself tiptoeing over boxes and brushing aside fancy garments that were rarely worn. He finally made his way to the far wall opposite of the door, and fumbled around with his hands, feeling around for a lever of some sort. His father had told him and Allura that the underground passageways were only to be used in emergencies, should the castle ever find itself under attack.

Of course, this didn’t deter the two siblings from using them for all sorts of purposes. As children, they’d often play games within the intricate and vast labyrinth. After getting lost more times than he’d like to admit, Lance soon came to memorize every twist and turn that the passages had to offer.

“There you are!” Lance pulled the lever, and after almost tripping down the steep, spiral staircase, he soon found himself walking slowly down long corridors. Although he would be considered a young teenager now by Altean standards, the internal map in Lance’s mind from his childhood was somehow still enough for him to navigate. The cobwebs that clung to his clothing, combined with the dust that settled unpleasantly in his chest was almost enough to make him turn back. Almost. Lance decided that this was still better than sitting through hours of negotiations on things he could barely begin to comprehend, much less care about enough to pay attention.

Lance paused for a moment. The only lighting came from dim, fluorescent blue lines that trailed along the ceiling. He looked around, and his stomach sank for a moment as he realized he had no idea where he was. Lance wasn’t usually one to panic so quickly, but memories of being lost in these halls for up to hours at a time came rushing back to him, along with the lost and helpless emotions he had been overwhelmed with as a small child. This time, however, he didn’t think Allura would come down looking for him.

If Lance could just make his way to a place that he recognized, then he was sure that he’d be able to once again find his bearings. There were a few ‘landmarks’ he would use to navigate as a child, like odd statues and other staircases that led up to different rooms in the castle. Those were few and far apart, but all Lance needed to do was make his way to one of them.

He continued walking, at a much more frantic pace than earlier. Lance relied on intuition more than anything, especially when it came to diverging paths or when he felt that he should turn back. He took deep breaths to try and calm himself. Something about the quietness was unnerving. Except, it wasn’t the quietness at all, Lance realized. It was the eerie sounds that interrupted it. Upon listening closely, he began to hear echoes from footsteps that didn’t match the rhythm of his own, and noticed darting shadows out of the corner of his eye.

It had to have been just paranoia, right? Lance knew he had a bad habit of letting panic and fear get to him. Yet, he couldn’t shake that feeling that he was being followed or watched. His gaze fell to the ground as he inspected strange lines that ran along the floor. Maybe it was something he or Allura had drawn in order to find their way around? He poked around through his memories, but couldn’t recall doing such a thing.

Lance turned a sharp corner and gasped as he ran into something solid.

His head snapped upward, and he let out the most high pitched, embarrassing scream that he could imagine.

“Oh? Did I frighten you?”

Standing in front of Lance was a Galra, who was a bit taller than Lance, but couldn’t have been much older. The boy flashed a toothy grin that Lance could have mistaken for something predatory if he hadn’t remembered that it was just how most Galra smiled.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” Lance demanded, and instinctively shifted into a defensive stance like his sparring mentor had taught him. The boy in front of him didn’t seem like he was going to attack, but Lance still didn’t like being caught off guard.

Lance looked him over for a second, and found strikingly elegant Altean features that contradicted his first observation. Perhaps a hybrid of some sort? Lance didn’t waste much time thinking about it, and instead opted to let his eyes trail over the boy’s lean figure, and his silver hair that resembled Lance’s own. It was much longer, and though Lance would never admit it aloud, much prettier and well maintained than his as well.

Lance finally settled on the boy’s violet eyes, and reddened when he realized that he had essentially just checked the other out. He flushed even further when the telltale grin on the boy’s face indicated that he had noticed.

“I was merely exploring this lovely castle of yours, but it seems I have happened upon an even lovelier prince.” Oh, now this guy was the one checking _him_ out. Lance didn't think his face couldn’t get any more flushed. The worst part was how awful the red on his face must look when contrasted with his light blue markings. “A more important question, however, is what are you doing here? Don’t you have a meeting you’re supposed to attend?”

“I, uhh…” Lance trailed off and settled his gaze back onto the floor. “I didn’t want to go, so I kind of ran off to hide down here. And then I might have gotten a bit lost,” Lance explained, and then his eyes flickered upwards. “Wait, how did you know I was supposed to be at the meeting?” Lance questioned.

The boy laughed in reply. Lance’s chest did a strange thing at the sound, but he brushed it off. It must have just been leftover anxiety from getting lost, and then being spooked by this stranger.

“Let’s just say you aren’t the only one who is forced to attend pointless meetings by their father. You certainly aren’t the only one trying to avoid them, either,” The stranger replied. Lance’s eyes widened in recognition.

“Wait a second, you’re Prince Lotor? My sister complains about you like, all the time! She says you’re pretentious and rude,” Lance blurted out. “Uhh, don’t tell her I told you that though.” The prince laughed again, and Lance relished in the way it echoed throughout the empty halls.

“Don’t worry. Princess Allura has not been afraid to express her opinions to me.” Lotor smiled at that.

“How did you know who I am?” Lance questioned. “I’ve never seen you before. I usually ditch any negotiation meetings with the Galra though, because they take literally forever.” Lotor nodded in agreement.

“I don’t often accompany my father on these types of trips. Lately, though, he has been insistent that I join him for one reason or another. It’s rather annoying, and wasting time like this puts me in a bit of a sour mood. That probably explains your sister’s high opinion of me.” Lotor confessed, his voice dripping with sarcasm near the end. Lance giggled, and didn’t miss how the corner of Lotor’s mouth turned up a bit as a result.

“Do you know how to get out of here?” Lance asked, hopeful. Lotor nodded.

“Of course. Didn’t you grow up in this castle? You must have a poor sense of direction.” Lotor teased. He began to walk back down the hall he had appeared from, and beckoned for Lance to come walk alongside him.

“Hey! I’ve been walking down here for like, three hours!” Lance defended.

“And a poor sense of time, too.” Lotor hummed, like he was making a mental note to himself. “The meeting hasn’t even been going on for an hour.”

“Well, maybe I came down here an hour or two before the meeting started, just to make sure no one could run into me and remind me.” Lance crossed his arms, pouting.

“Please, like you have the foresight to do that,” Lotor smirked. When he noticed Lance’s frown, he put a hand on the shorter boy’s shoulder. “I’m just messing with you, you know.”

Lance looked up at him and smiled. “Yeah, yeah. I know. Let’s get out of here. I can practically feel the dust crawling into my pores. If my face breaks out, I think I might actually cry.”

 

 

Once the two boys had made their way out, they talked a bit longer and walked the halls of the castle. Lance missed being alone with Lotor and not having to deal with the castle's loud occupants, but he was also grateful for the clean air.

It didn’t take long for them to run into Allura, and Lance cringed as she yelled at both of them for being irresponsible and not taking their duties seriously. Lance tried to make up the excuse that they had forgotten about it and just lost track of time, but that only seemed to fuel Allura’s irritation even further. Allura sighed.

“Being the gracious older sister that I am, I covered for you, Lance. I told Father that you were helping Coran with an errand. As for you, Prince Lotor, your father didn’t seem too bothered by your absence, if that’s any consolation. But please, I beg the both of you, to at least try and be a bit more responsible. This is the last time that I cover for you, Lance!” Allura pinched the bridge of her nose and walked away, muttering something about immature boys.

Lotor and Lance exchanged looks, and snickered quietly once they thought Allura was out of range.

 

  
The next week was one of the best Lance had ever had. He and Lotor were practically inseparable, and they talked for hours at a time. Lance shared stories he remembered from his childhood, and Lotor confided in him that he had a poor relationship with his father, who didn’t think Lotor would make a good leader.

Lance was quick to assure him that he’d be a wonderful leader, and told Lotor that Emperor Zarkon didn’t know anything anyway. _I mean, come on. What does he know? I bet he’s like bald or something under that helmet he always wears. Bald people never know what they’re talking about._ Lotor just laughed lightly at that, and decided to change the subject.

On the final day of Lotor’s visit, Lance wanted to do something special for him. Lance wasn’t technically supposed to leave the castle unsupervised, and by extension, neither was Lotor, so Lance knew he’d have to wake up early for them to both sneak out. He knocked on his friend's door early in the morning, and was greeted with a sleepy and disheveled Lotor. Lance rushed him to get ready, and Lotor indulged him despite his fatigue. They arrived at their destination just before the sunrise.

 

A wide expansion of flowers was spread out before them. Lance looked over to gauge Lotor’s reaction and smiled at the awestruck eyes that took in the massive field. Lance bent down, picking a flower from the soil. 

“These are juniberry flowers. Before my mother died, our family used to come here every spring to see them in full bloom.” Lance smiled down at the flower sadly as he inspected it. He twirled it around a few times, and then looked back up to Lotor.

“They’re lovely.” Lotor stared at Lance for a few long moments, and then reached over slowly to pluck the flower out of Lance’s hand, his fingertips resting on Lance’s skin just a tad longer than they needed to. He then extended his other hand towards Lance’s short, silvery hair and combed through it once, before placing the flower just behind Lance’s ear with his other hand.

Lance giggled and blushed. He seemed to do that a lot in Lotor’s presence, but it wasn’t something he wanted to dwell on.

“Thank you,” Lance mumbled. “Come on, let’s go find a place to watch the sunrise!” With that, he grabbed Lotor’s hand and dragged him deeper into the meadow before slowing down and finally finding a place to settle. Lance laid down on the grass, putting his hands behind his head, and gestured for Lotor to do the same. Lotor just sat down a few inches away from Lance with his hands wrapped around his knees. They stared at each other in silence for a moment, choosing to ignore the sun as it peaked just above the horizon. Lotor spoke first.

“I’m leaving today.” His voice was just above a whisper.

“I know,” Lance replied.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Lotor promised.

“How soon?”

“I don’t know.” Lotor sighed and distracted himself by fiddling with a strand of his hair.

“Well, it’ll be okay, right?” Lance tried to sound cheerful. “We can send each other letters, or maybe I can ask Coran for some kind of communication device!”

“Yeah,” Lotor smiled down at him. “I’m going to miss you, you know?”

Lance turned red, for what must have been the millionth time that week.

“Yeah, I’m gonna miss you too.”

Lotor laughed softly at his reaction, and leaned down slowly, hesitantly. He pressed a soft kiss on the Altean’s forehead. Lance’s eyes widened in surprise, and he sat up to lean on Lotor’s side, resting his head on Lotor's shoulder.

They sat there for a few moments, admiring the sunrise and stealing glances at each other every now and then.

“We should head back soon, before Allura can wake up to catch us sneaking back in,” Lotor said.

“Yeah,” Lance sighed. “Just a few more minutes though.” He leaned in closer and huffed a warm breath into Lotor’s neck.

“Of course.”


	2. the windows that we watch from

"Lance! I have excellent news!"

Lance groaned and turned over to bury his face in his pillow. Even in his groggy state of mind, he could still recognize that voice. That voice gave him even more of a headache than being suddenly woken up at hell o'clock in the morning did.

"Allura, if you don't leave, I am literally going to lose my shit." Lance didn't know if Allura could make out his muffled words or not, but he found that he didn't quite care either. He heard an overdramatic sigh come from his bedside.

"Fine, I suppose that means you don't want to see your boyfriend then," Allura teased.

Lance turned around to glare at her out of spite, even if the sun did burn his eyes.

"I don't have a boyfriend. Now, I know you get off to this sort of nonsense, but is it so much to ask that you could just bother someone else for one morning?" Allura's gaze sharpened, and Lance found himself regretting every choice he had made in life that led up to this moment. God, if looks could kill...

"I'll just go tell Lotor that you don't want to see him then." Allura turned her nose up and started to walk out of the room when Lance shot up out of bed.

"You're joking," Lance accused. It had been months since he had either seen or heard from Lotor. Five years had passed since their first meeting, and the two had kept in touch as much as they could through written messages. And then, whenever Lotor could get away, there were those rare visits, the ones that left Lance starry-eyed and aching and dazed all at the same time.

Allura shrugged, a nonchalant air around her that seemed a little too forced.

"See for yourself. He was in the dining hall, last I saw him." With that, Allura finally made her way out. Lance privately wondered if she was waiting outside the door, counting how many seconds it would take for Lance to come stumbling out in a rush to get downstairs.

But even if that was the first thing Lance wanted to do, there was no way in hell Lance would go down there looking like this. Quickly, he hopped out of bed and grabbed the closest articles of clothing he could find. After getting dressed, Lance looked in the mirror and fumbled with his bedhead for a few moments, before giving up and deciding it wasn't worth it. Besides, Lotor had said his hair looked cute after just waking up. With one last glance in the mirror, Lance hurried out of his room.

As expected, Allura leaned against the wall just outside his door, grinning at him.

"Nice hair."

"Did you say the dining hall?" Lance asked, ignoring her comment.

"Yes. If he's not there, try the east wing. I believe that's where he's staying." Lance thought he heard her say something else, but he was already out of range by the time she finished her sentence.

In the past year or so, Lotor’s responsibilities sent him to what was almost the opposite side of the universe from Lance. Weekly letters came fewer and further apart, until they suddenly stopped altogether.

In fact, the last time Lance had even heard from Lotor was a few months ago. Lance had thought he seemed distant and cold in the short letter that was sent, and spent weeks agonizing over it before deciding that Lotor was probably just stressed.

Lance finally arrived at the dining hall, and his eyes scanned the dozens of faces in the room, but found that none matched Lotor’s. Lance briefly wondered if Allura was messing with him. Where did she say he might be? The east wing?

Lance groaned before hurrying off to the opposite end of the castle. He swore his heart nearly stopped beating when he turned a corner and saw that familiar silver hair that draped down Lotor’s backside. It was much longer than he remembered, but Lance could recognize it anywhere.

“Lotor!” Lance yelled, and sprinted to catch up with the man. Lotor spun around, his eyes wide at the voice, and barely had enough time to steady himself before Lance came barreling into him.

Lance snaked his arms around Lotor's waist and buried his face in his chest. He felt Lotor stiffen, but Lance continued to indulge himself in what he had dreamed of doing for months. When Lotor didn’t respond or reciprocate the embrace, Lance finally got worried enough to look up. He found Lotor staring at him with an unreadable, almost cold, expression.

“Lotor? Is something wrong?” Lance could feel himself begin to panic. Lotor always hugged him when he visited. He would even spin Lance around in his arms and flutter his hands excitedly around Lance’s chest and face, like Lotor couldn’t believe he actually existed.

Lance took a hesitant step back, and Lotor’s gaze softened into something much more familiar when he finally spoke.

“No, nothing is wrong. I’m sorry. You just caught me off guard.”

Lance frowned at that. He knew Lotor well enough to know when he was just making a flimsy excuse. Lance might have called him out on it a year ago or so, but now, it just felt awkward.

“Uhh, yeah,” Lance moved even further away. “Sorry? I think.” Lance rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, and Lotor sighed. It looked like he was fighting some sort of inner battle with himself.

“No, I’m sorry. I’m acting strange, aren’t I? These past few months have been…” Lotor trailed off, searching for a suitable word. “Stressful. That’s all.” Lotor bridged the gap that Lance had created between them and held him tightly for a few moments. The Galra Prince buried his face in Lance’s hair and breathed deeply, before pulling back. His hands were still on Lance’s shoulders as he inspected the smaller boy, and grinned.

“You’ve grown shorter,” Lotor commented.

“I have not! You've just—” Lance paused for a moment, then glared. “Wait, was that just some roundabout way of getting me to admit that you’ve grown taller?”

Lotor laughed, and Lance pushed him away lightly, but Lotor resisted and ended up pulling Lance even closer to him than before. They both burst into fits of laughter, before Lance reached his hand up and grasped a strand of Lotor’s hair.

“It’s almost as long as Allura’s now. I was never very good at braiding your hair with its length before,” Lance hummed.

“I never complained,” Lotor reminded him. Lance smiled at that.

“Yeah. Remember when I made the worst braid ever, and you insisted that you liked it so you left it in for the entire day? And then there was that whole scene at dinner when your father demanded that you take it out, but you still refused!” Lance laughed hysterically, but stopped when he noticed Lotor’s eyes darken.

“Yeah, I remember,” Lotor said sharply. There were those dark eyes again. Lance felt like he had breached a sensitive topic, but he couldn’t think of any reason why it would be. Wasn’t that a good memory?

“Well, anyway," Lance coughed. “What do you want to do first? You saw Allura already, right? Do you want to go get something to eat? Or we could go run around and bother Coran, like the good old days.”

Lotor frowned.

“I need to speak with you, somewhere private. I don’t have much time. My father doesn’t know that I’m here right now.” Lotor’s eyes shifted to the left and the right as he looked around anxiously for something.

“Oh. Of course. My room isn’t far from here, let’s go there,” Lance suggested, concern blooming across his face as he imagined what Lotor might want to talk with him about.

After walking for a couple minutes in yet another awkward silence, Lance opened the door to his room and gestured for Lotor to walk inside. He sat down at a small table a few feet away from the bed, and Lotor moved to sit across from him.

“What’s up?” Lance asked lightheartedly, hoping his face didn’t express how worried he was.

“Have you attended any of your father’s diplomacy meetings as of late?” Lotor asked.

Lance thought about that for a moment before replying.

“Actually, Allura and I haven’t been allowed into anything like that for the past few weeks. I haven’t even spoken to Father in days. Why do you ask?” Lance shifted uncomfortably, and Lotor nodded.

Lance couldn’t help but realize how much older they both were now. Lotor’s eyes were so much darker than he remembered, and he seemed so tired. What had he been doing all those months that they lost communication?

“I’m not sure how to say this lightly, but there is rumor of the possibility of war between the Galra and the Alteans,” Lotor informed him. Lance might have laughed, had he not noticed Lotor’s somber look.

“What do you mean? Why?” Lance felt like he should be more alarmed by this, but he was mostly just confused.

“My father has not told me much, but I’ve overheard conversations between him and my mother. They speak of something called Voltron, a powerful weapon that your father built. There is disagreement on how it should be put to use."

“Voltron?” Lance pondered on the word for a moment. “I feel like I’ve heard that somewhere. Perhaps I overheard my own father talking about it.”

“Perhaps, but it isn’t important. If a war is going to happen, there isn’t anything we can do about it. I only came to warn you.” Lotor rubbed his temples and blinked a few times. “I have been given my own command of a ship now, you know. I entertained the idea of asking you to come live with me on it, but I fear what my father would do if he found out.”

Lance smiled and reached out to grasp one of Lotor’s hands.

“You shouldn’t let this stress you out, it's probably nothing. Our fathers disagree on things all the time! That’s why those meetings are always so long. I’m sure they’ll come to a compromise, and everything will blow over. Besides, it’s not like your mother would even allow him to attack her home planet., so you don't need to worry about me!” Lance grinned.

“You don’t understand. My mother has been… different, lately. Something isn’t right about her, or about any of this,” Lotor argued.

“It’ll be okay, Lo. I promise” Lance squeezed his hand reassuringly. Lotor always had a tendency to worry too much, and get all worked up over silly things.

Lance stood up and walked over to Lotor’s side of the table, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder. Lotor looked up and spoke in one of the softest tones Lance had ever heard him use.

“Lance, I…” Lotor swallowed and looked away for a second before continuing. “I care about you deeply. If anything were to happen to you, I don’t know what I would do,” He confessed quietly.

“Nothing is going to happen to me,” Lance stressed.

“I won’t let it. I can’t,” Lotor replied.

“You’re such a sap,” Lance laughed. He leaned down and pecked a light kiss onto Lotor’s right cheek. Lotor grinned up at him and his face turned into something that Lance thought may have been a blush. The only other time that Lance had done that, he ran away immediately after, and didn’t get to see Lotor’s reaction.

Lotor stood and ran a hand through Lance’s hair.

“Depending on how long this lasts, I don’t know when the next time we’ll get to see each other will be,” Lotor told him.

“Will you send me messages this time?” Lance asked with a hint of bitterness in his tone. Lotor looked ashamed.

“I lied to you, when I told you that my communication device didn’t work. My father somehow found out about our correspondence a few months ago, and demanded that I cut off contact with you at once. I chanced a few short messages here and there so that you wouldn’t worry. I’m sorry for not telling you the truth."

Lance was still a little hurt, but he at least he understood why now. He didn’t know how many nights of sleep he lost due to thinking that Lotor hated him.

“It’s okay,” Lance sighed.

Lotor was about to reply, when his eyes shifted to a clock in the corner of the room.

“Has it really been that long? I’m afraid I must return to the main ship if I don’t want anyone to be suspicious.” Lotor pulled Lance in for one last brief embrace.

“Please come back soon,” Lance pleaded, not even bothering to hide the desperation he felt.

“I’ll do my best,” Lotor promised, and just like that, he slipped out of the room. Lance debated walking him back to whatever small ship he arrived in, but he knew from experience that watching Lotor fly away would just hurt infinitely worse, for the both of them.

Lance collapsed on his bed, feeling more exhausted and empty than he had in a long time.  


**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://voltronfamsquad.tumblr.com)


End file.
